Fantasy Football For Poets, Dispatch #2

“I question how much attention is given to football,” former St. Louis Rams center Jason Brown  said at the time. “But it’s tough. It’s a huge machine that I’m benefiting from.”

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The Weekly Rumpus: Fantasy Football for Poets, Week 13

My final football column of the year:  Evan Gratz   explains the duties of an NFL chaplain. Calvin Johnson & the NFL's middle class. Why no one should be surprised by Tampa Bay's Bobby Rainey. And two young students at  826LA, ages 8 and 11, make Super Bowl and Week 13 football picks.

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The Weekly Rumpus: Fantasy Football for Poets, Week 11

Chicago Bears receiver Brandon Marshall, before and since his treatment for Borderline Personality Disorder; how a non-Bears fan remembers Mike Ditka; Texans quarterback Case Keenum eats his mac & cheese like a dude; the consequences of having long hair in the NFL.

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The Weekly Rumpus: Fantasy Football for Poets, Week 8

This week: Why Kellen Winslow and Connor Barwin are the NFL's biggest bicycle enthusiasts (and why Connor may also be the NFL's biggest hipster); amateur magician Knowshon Moreno beats paper, rock *and* scissors in the Denver backfield; football's longest consecutive games-played streak is broken on a bittersweet night in Indiana.

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The Weekly Rumpus: Fantasy Football for Poets, Week 6

Jacksonville coach Gus Bradley is like a mom that puts cat food in your lunch box every day for years, and whenever you complain about it, says, “cat food is the lunch of the future,” and “we’re sticking with cat food” and “We know that there’s a box of Thin Mints in the freezer (Tim Tebow) but we like cat food and so will you.”

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The Weekly Rumpus: Fantasy Football for Poets, Week 3

My football column for the subscription-only Weekly Rumpus is now being expanded to The Rumpus site. This week, I discuss the bizarre, beautiful Bears tight end Martellus Bennett, who hates Johnny Cash, prefers a certain kind of cereal for lunch, and made the most incredible catch of the year that wasn't a catch.

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NFL Offseason Capsules: Part 2, The NFC

Sad that there hasn’t been an NFL football game in almost seven months? After  reviewing the AFC yesterday, all of the credible, influential, and relevant news of the NFL offseason concludes today with the teams of the NFC.  (Apologies to Jhumpa Lahiri, Edward Albee, Samuel Beckett, James Baldwin, and James Tate.) 

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NFL Offseason Capsules: Part 1, The AFC

If you haven’t been following your favorite NFL team since you saw them last winter, it’s time to catch you up on all of the relevant news of the offseason. I’ll begin with the teams of the AFC today and conclude  tomorrow with the NFC.  (Apologies to James Joyce, Alice Munro, Wislawa Szymborska, and Allen Ginsberg.)

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